Glory to Jesus Christ!
(Or, if you’re on the older calendar)
Christ is Risen!
It has been 3 months since I posted on here. Some of that can be attributed to busyness but as I look back on the postings on here, the most recent one speaks volumes to me and I had promised to let it simmer.
St. Porphyrios and his meditation on the nightingale spoke to me very deeply.
I think of our world and our words, and we can say so many things to create clouds and fogs which can hide our true hearts from ourselves, our neighbor, and Our Lord. Thinking of the simple prayer of song that emanates from a tiny bird, I hold in contrast my own life and I see so much waste. So many jokes thrown out to not look vulnerable. So much posturing to demonstrate my knowledge when I am actually feeling doubt. So much pride cast under the guise of seeking sympathy. So much strength (conversely) shown when I am wanting to admit weakness. And as those shares/words/comments/posts/likes/emojis are racked up, my real sense of life in this world is obscured. I forget who it was who opened up to me, and I forget the people to whom I am honest.
And in this sense of futility, I return to the nightingale. His song in solitude seems futile but it is anything but futile. Even if no human hears him, he knows his song and it is his true voice. This is my goal in my walk in this life. There have been so many words that are said for so many untrue reasons. It makes it so clear that if I would but focus on my own song that has come from my Creator, that even if I were to have no one hear me I would be so much more fulfilled than a world of provocations.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a Sinner.